bloody terrified of my mind at the moment
I’m obsessive and destructive
I wrote this down when I was sat alone by the fire in a weird frame of mind at Leeds festival on Sunday evening ha!
I’m scared because I haven’t fallen for someone this quickly before. It’s been so long since I’ve felt like I can trust and be safe again, but with him I feel home. So I refuse to fear and instead to be happy, as that’s what he makes me feel: smiles, laughter and warmth. When he’s near i do not worry as nothing can go wrong, it has been so many years since i have allowed myself to feel security from another person.
But here I am, falling deep and hard for this other human being. Its cute and childlike but why not return to childish ways for another day; stomachs full of butterflies and eyes full of stars. Lying in the grass soaking up the rays of sun, the sun that beats off his skin and jumps on to mine. Shouting our favourite songs from the depth of our heart in a tent made for silence.
Drug infused love and fucking to focus our trips through the cold night. Sharp nails pierce into the skin, affectionate bruises and scars translating to ‘you’re mine’.
Not thinking of tomorrow, instead thinking of now; as today he is with me but tomorrow we will part. It may not last forever but the memory will remain of when I was his in the late summer before we had to become adults and leave our adolescence behind.